How to Make Space for New Habits | S4E6 (E036)
Are you thinking about adding a new habit into your life?
Maybe you want to adopt a daily morning walk, add in more gym time, eat more protein, or volunteer at your local non-profit. Great! These are wonderful additions to your life.
BUT, have you carved out the time and energy to do it? Have you made space to take on that new habit or commitment?
Because we’re here to tell you that if you haven’t, it likely won’t stick around for long, or it will and your relaxation, your rest, and your energy will suffer. So often we’re told to just keep adding on, but something has to give right?
So what can you do to make space? What steps can you take to ensure that your new healthy habits that you WANT to take on, will stick around along with your mental health, your energy, and your down time? We’re getting into it today, and we hope you join the conversation around how to best step into your new identity!
In This Episode
How to Make Space for New Habits (00:00)
The cost of our high productivity culture (2:33)
The pitfalls of only adding commitments & habits (3:11)
New morning routine (5:07)
Tired of saying Yes to everything (6:34)
Upsetting the equilibrium in our lives (8:06)
Importance of sleep (10:35)
Macros: It’s not just about adding more protein (13:32)
What Evie has sacrificed for more rest this season (17:17)
There can be a time for Netflix (21:09)
Running yourself ragged (26:26)
The power of choice era we live in (27:02)
Resources Mentioned
Shop the Wellness Optimizing Journal
Join the Optimized Wellness Community
Submit your question for the show!
Transcript
Toréa Rodriguez 0:00
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Toréa Rodriguez 0:50
Welcome to the Wildly Optimized Wellness podcast. I am your host, Toréa Rodriguez. And I’m joined by the lovely co host, Evie Takacs. Both of us are Functional Diagnostic Nutrition practitioners and we love working with women from all over the world, through our virtual programs, helping women not only feel better, but actually achieve that vibrant, no holds barred version of themselves, they’ve been missing for a long time, and how we actually get there. Well, that is what this show is all about. Now, please keep in mind that this podcast is created for educational purposes only and should never be used as a replacement for medical diagnosis or treatment. And if you like what you hear today, we would love for you to hit that follow button, leave a review in Apple podcast, share with your friends, and keep coming back for more. Let’s start today’s adventure shall we?
Toréa Rodriguez 1:50
Hey, welcome back to Wildly Optimized Wellness, Evie and I are here. And we wanted to have a conversation, a little bit about habit change, but also about stepping into new identities. What does it look like when we're actually trying to integrate changes that we want to make. And I was thinking about this this morning on my walk is that when we are talking about doing new things, we forget to talk about the very important thing of making space for that new thing. Right. And I think part of the downside of this is that our culture talks a lot about high productivity, getting things done, you know, it's just like, Oh, I'll take on something else. And yes, and then I'll go volunteer at the church. And yes, I'll do all this stuff. And then we forget to make space for that. So that we are sane, rested, relaxed, rejuvenated people. So recently, Evie and I just finished a retreat together in Ohio, which is really cool. And I'm sure you've heard about that or seen about that. If you haven't, there will be some information in the show notes. But we were talking a lot about how it changed with the clients. And so what did you notice in terms of what they were talking about? And let's just talk through some of the examples of where this can become a pitfall in a way. It's, it's almost like I get so revved up and like so charged and energized. I'm like, Yeah, I want to do that too. And that's amazing. But that energy will only take us so far if we don't make the space for it. So what have you noticed? Or where have you seen this in you? Right?
Evie Takacs 3:24
Yeah, I think this ties into a conversation that we had, during the retreat with I think all the women really about, I think that pause is really important that when there's something that we either accomplish, or that we have set out to accomplish, we miss out on the pause of, wow, let's look at what we've done. That's really cool. Let's take that in. Let's be let's celebrate that before jumping to the next thing. Or the other example is people will have this idea of what the outcome is of what they want, but they think it's almost they may be unaware of what they're currently doing and how the new outcome doesn't fit into that because their current behavior doesn't align with that either. So we were just talking about, okay, if someone wants to get a morning walk in for the morning for circadian rhythm support, but they aren't able to make the change or they're not seeing that they need to make the change to actually change their morning routine up and maybe they leave for work a little sooner or a little later, or whatever it might be like that outcome is never gonna happen. And then that's where disappointment comes in. And then that's where a lot of the see I can never accomplish anything, see I can ever do this comes in. So trying to I think take a pause and inventory of like, what am I doing now? Does that align with where the next outcome is? Or where it would have, you know, lead me to? Or is there something that I need to currently change? And what is that so that I can get to that next outcome?
Toréa Rodriguez 4:41
Yeah, I'd like the morning routine example because you know, somebody is going to a job and they have let's just use a classic office example. But if they have to be at the office at nine o'clock and they're getting up at seven right now and they're doing their morning routine, and their morning routine doesn't include that walk, then how are they going to fit At the end, if nothing else changes, yeah, it's not like we can suddenly get magical time. I wish we could. But we don't get magical time. So, you know, how do you make that change? Does that mean that perhaps you change the time that you go to bed so that you can get up earlier? And make some space there? Or is there something that is happening in that morning routine, maybe you're in the habit of throwing a load of laundry in during your morning routine, because that's how you guys get your laundry done throughout the week. Maybe that shifts so that you're not having to attend the laundry, you've now got 15, 20 minutes, go do a quick walk. Right? So those are the kinds of things that I see happening, especially in like the health and wellness world, they talked about all these new habits that you want to do, and you want to do this and you want change that and everything else. But we hardly ever talked about how do we identify? What are the things that need to shift? Or what are the things we may need to give up that are no longer serving us so that we can make that new thing a reality? Because in my opinion, it's not about just piling on more stops, like we've been doing that enough. Yeah, I don't know about you. But I'm tired of like saying yes to everything. And then all of a sudden not having any energy left for myself.
Evie Takacs 6:15
Yeah, I call that trimming the fat. Like, I encourage clients to do that more often than adding things in of let's trim the fat of what is something in your life that maybe doesn't really need to be happening or happening right now? Is this the right season for that commitment? Is this the right season for you to take on this new role? Is this the right season for you to sign up to coach your kids basketball, like, sometimes you just have to trim the fat because once you do that, then you do have the space for these new things. And just everything, there's a cost to everything. So you wanting to add something into your life, regardless of if it is a stereotypical or classical good thing. There's going to be a cost to that. Yeah. So okay, let's say you do want to start to lift weights and you want to start going to the gym? Well, that means that let's say you have to do in the morning before you go to work, then that probably means the cost would be something around your sleep. So then do you go to bed an hour earlier? Are you able and willing to commit to that? Are you able to put out your clothes the night before, you're able to pack your lunch the night before so that you're not rushing after the gym? Like there's a cost to everything, we can't just add things in and expect to not have a consequence or an outcome or something that we have to, you know, for lack of better term pay for?
Toréa Rodriguez 7:28
Yeah, I think that is the the piece of it is that we often don't think about what is the cost? Or what is the impact of making this change. And I like to think of it as like that the balance right? The scales, yes, yes, things are evenly balanced. For the most part, we have this equilibrium in our lives, right? That's where things are, we've got a slow things are going on, we may not like what we're experiencing, right. So we may want to start lifting weights, we can gain muscle mass, because we don't like the fact that there's more fat on the body than muscle mass or whatever. So if we make that change, and all of a sudden, we just add workout, guess what happens? We tip the scale. Right? So how do we make it so that the weights are even on either side? So I really love to coach my clients in terms of what have you been doing, that's no longer working for you are no longer in alignment with who you want to become. And that usually allows them to identify a handful of things that they can be like, Oh, it's kind of like Marie Kondo in your life, right? It's just like, oh, I can give that up. And I can give that up. And I can get that up. Now you've got ample space to be able to insert these new habits or these new changes that you want to make. I think the biggest downside that I see really is just when people are trying to like Overstock, those scales, and then all of a sudden, there is no rest or relaxation. Not to confuse that with temporary sacrifices. Because sure, you know, you just talked about, well, maybe your sleep has to shift. And while you're making this adjustment, maybe that means you do get a little bit less sleep than you normally have been getting until you can identify, Okay, because it's topples, right? It's totally topples the routine, especially the morning ones like okay, if we're going to do more in the morning, let's look at what's happening before bed. And if that can't ship, like all of a sudden, it's like, Oh, I gotta get the kids to bed earlier. That means we got to do Bad's earlier, like all of that stuff has to shift. That takes a little bit of time. But we can do anything for a short amount of time. Right? So I can if I wanted to probably operate Okay, on five hours asleep. I'm using that as a very extreme example, but I could probably do it. And I also know that's not sustainable. So if we are going to make these sacrifices so to speak, let's see if we can find sacrifices that are not serving us well, because we all know, I hope we all know, please for the love of God and every listener listening to this, please tell me that you already know how important sleep this is great. I already said it. But we all know that sleep is really important. So while I may temporarily sacrifice that, what other changes do I need to make so that I can get rid of the stuff that doesn't work anymore? So that I can bring that sleep in alignment and get that workout in? Right?
Evie Takacs 10:20
Yeah, and I'm thinking, you know, this is something that you and I do a lot. And we've been doing for years, because we are those types of people are this is, you know, this is who we are. And I'm thinking about somebody who is maybe still really new into, like, I really want to make some changes, I want to be healthy. And this sounding a little overwhelming or a little like, Oh, but I don't want to make that sacrifice. So that's gonna be too hard. And my response to that is, yeah, you're right, it is going to be hard, and it's going to be uncomfortable, and it's going to stretch you and it could make you feel like, is this really even worth it. But all of that is normal, like making changes, especially with your health, and especially in the culture that we have here in America can be really hard and especially and then break it down even further of like, where do you live? Do you live in a community where health is prioritized? Is it easy to be healthy? Is it more convenient to stay where you are and to, you know, not make changes, like those play roles? And what is your family dynamic like? So yeah, it might get really hard, and it might make you uncomfortable. And it might make you say, but I don't want to have to sacrifice that or I don't want to have to do that. So then you have the two choices, you can either say, Okay, I don't want to do that, therefore, I am not going to and that is yours. And you can keep that and know that there is again, a price or there's a cost to that. Or two you can say this is gonna be really uncomfortable. And I don't want to do this, yet, I know that I can overcome that. Because if I give it a week, or two weeks, or three weeks, or maybe even a month, and if I have that perseverance and that patience, I'm going to get to where I want to be because that future version of myself as depending on me to be this way. Yeah. So I wanted to make that point. Because I think it's very easy to listen to us talk about it and get to that point of like, well, that just sounds too hard, or That's too scary, or I don't think I'm capable of that, well, we're telling you that you are capable of it. And that you can do it, even though it's going to be hard. So don't let that be a reason to stop you. Because I don't even know who's listening to this. And I can assure you that you have done really hard things in your life. And you've obviously survived all of them, if you're listening to this. So this is not going to be anything different.
Toréa Rodriguez 12:19
It really isn't going to be any different. And I think we see this a lot too, when people are making changes to their food, either, you know, from an ingredient sourcing standpoint, or even something as simple as macros standpoint. You know, if we take that example, one of the women this weekend, kind of had the epiphany of like, oh, I don't know, if I'm getting enough protein. And the automatic, like natural response to that is like, Okay, well, I'm just gonna pile in a bunch of protein to what I'm already doing, and inadvertently what might happen. And I'm not saying this is going to happen, but what could happen is that if we don't make those adjustments, guess what's going to, we're now taking on more food than we needed to. And now that could lead to an overeating situation or something like that, just just from the sheer nature of oh, I need to double my protein size, something has to sacrifice in that way to keep the overall macro caloric structure somewhat similar, right?
Evie Takacs 13:19
Yeah. So at that point, you say, Okay, I know that protein is low, if protein is low, and let's, I'm going to use this example. I see this a lot, because I do coach people through like macro distribution lert, teaching them about it, how to do that. Let's say you're having trouble losing weight. And you know, if we just look at it from a caloric standpoint, even though we know that there's a lot of other factors. If you're still struggling to lose weight, and you're not feeling well, but you're you're like, Well, I'm low on protein, the solution isn't like you said to have that innocent knee jerk reaction of let's just add protein. It's more of like, well, let's How do we change the the we'll have distribution of foods. So then it's like, if I'm low on protein, but I'm so not losing weight, does that mean that I'm going overboard on other macronutrients, so he's going again, you would look at maybe protein, or maybe carbs, or you're fat, and then maybe you shift that, so then you still have your same caloric intake, but the distribution is different. So then you add your protein in without really going over on calories at all, because you've decreased either your fat or your carbs. So like, I like that example a lot. Because I think it's applicable to a lot of people is like, they get so confused, or they're just at a loss of like, why are things not moving in this direction? When I'm, I don't feel like you know, I'm doing things wrong. And again, I think it's easy to have a knee jerk reaction, especially when it comes to nutrition, because there is a lot of information. It's oversaturated. Yeah. And so I think that's, I'm glad you brought that example up, as you know what to look for.
Toréa Rodriguez 14:39
Yeah, so like the scales that I was talking about earlier. It's like, with macros, it's just it's scales with three plates. And I don't know how that contraption would work. But it's the same kind of thing. Like everything kind of needs to be imbalanced, somewhat
Evie Takacs 14:52
Like a pie chart,
Toréa Rodriguez 14:53
Just like a pie chart,
Evie Takacs 14:55
Pie chart with equal distribution.
Toréa Rodriguez 14:57
There you go.
Evie Takacs 14:57
Yes.
Toréa Rodriguez 14:58
Thank you.
Evie Takacs 14:58
Yeah.
Toréa Rodriguez 14:59
Much better. are visual representation. But yes, it's like a pie chart, like if you just one wedge, all the other wedges in that pie chart need to adjust so that you're equaling the 100%, or completing the circle of the pie chart. And I think that if we approach our own lives as a pie chart, if you will, and oftentimes you and I will use things like I've got a wellness assessment wheel in the in the wellness optimizing journal that's right there. And you you've used Circle of Life wheels and that kind of thing in your exercises with clients. And so when we look at that pie chart, something has to give, we can't like overload one area without neglecting another and vice versa. And I just, I think we don't spend enough time talking about like, how do we find that thing that needs to be given up on so that I can make the space for us? I think our knee jerk reaction, if you will, is like, oh, I'll just add that in.
Evie Takacs 15:58
Yeah. Yeah, I think this actually ties into the episode that we talked about seasonality. For me personally, because my brain is going to the change in the season, like we're, you know, in December now, days are shorter nights are longer, I find myself wanting to be more in hibernation mode. So for me, I might be able to really prioritize my sleep and my rest this winter. But what does get sacrificed. And I can tell this in the last few weeks is my community, I don't see my friends as often, I'm not really out and about as often. And so I've noticed that and that's, again, I've been doing this enough time to know that it's not something I need to worry about, or like there's something that's wrong, because I know that we just tend to do more things when you know, in the springtime and summertime, so that'll come back. Whereas at that point, maybe my sleep is a little bit less because I am out later, or I am up earlier going for an early morning walk or I'm going to the gym earlier. So these things again, that's an example for me, personally, of what I'm seeing now is, I haven't really seen a lot of my friends recently. But that's also because when it's pitch black, I don't want to go anywhere I want to stay home, you know, so it's, that's where I'm like, let's just let's schedule a FaceTime or let's text back and forth. For today I have an hour I'm not doing anything, let's text or whatever. So that's the give and take of my community time might diminish and decrease the season, but my sleep and my rest increases and then it might flip flop next season. So accepting that and being okay with that, and knowing that you can't be 100% all the time, we've been had this conversation, if we can take it back to another like body physique topic and example, we have this conversation on the retreat, and I have this a lot with people is you can't be bikini swimsuit lean all year round and expect to be healthy. Because being that lean, whatever that means for you is most likely going to mean that there are some sacrifices from a metabolic standpoint, the body, you know, needs that fat for certain purposes. And so if you're at a really low fat percentage on your body, for too long of a period of time, there's going to be some things that good right metabolisms gonna slow down, hormones are going to slow down, digestion might slow down all of that stuff. So there are seasons to the physique as well. And that's why, you know, bodybuilders do have seasons of what's called cutting where they are in a deficit. So they're losing fat, and then they have bulking seasons, or mass seasons where they are strategically gaining weight, because the goal is to gain muscle during that time. So same thing with our physique is like we can't always expect to be summertime lean, the wintertime, you might put on a few pounds. And again, we're talking about in the healthy way, not like just letting yourself go or neglecting your health. But that's also okay, too. So you have that sacrifice of I might not look the exact same in the winter time. But I know that this is a sacrifice, or this is this is a necessary period of time where I have to be a little bit softer, because then I ultimately am going to be better for it in the summertime, because you're much it's much easier to lose fat anyways, when you have more muscle on you. So you need that period of time to put more muscle on. So I think I mean, the ideas are flowing. Now these are just great examples. There's, there's so much seasonality. And I know we talked about that in episode but this just goes deeper into it of again tying in to like how do you know what to let go of and when do you let go of that? Because everything weights that,
Toréa Rodriguez 19:21
What you're having what you're bringing to the table here and you know if I can reiterate a little bit like oftentimes we think about it in black and white terms. And the brain does that it likes to make it simple so that we can understand it. So you know, if we go back to that morning routine thing, it's like, well, if I want to do a morning walk, I have to sacrifice sleep. Right and so in from that standpoint, it's it's easier to identify. I don't want to call them junk habits, but habits that we may no longer want like giving up on sugar or stopping the number of hours that we're spending in front of Netflix binging Netflix all the time, or social media like that stuff can feel kind of like, oh, I want to give that up forever. And we're human. And so what you're talking about is acknowledging like the natural ebb and flow of all of this, along with the seasonality and everything else, there may come a time in our world, where the exact appropriate thing to do right now in this moment is binge watch on Netflix, right? It's like I need to have that kind of downtime, or that kind of, I need to shut off kind of what I'm overly thinking or whatever that happens to be. And to kind of be okay with those choices in the moment, just knowing that it is an ebb and flow back and forth. And so I think it's really cool that you're talking about it in this way. Because you right, we're going way deeper on this topic of seasonality. But that life has that flow. And then if we're really focusing in on like, I want to establish a new habit, well, therefore, I need to either habit sec, or I need to find a way to fill it in. So just adding on to it, like, how can we find a thing that can be set on the shelf for a while? Or maybe it is permanent? Maybe you are giving up sugar forever? I don't know. But don't feel like it needs to be black and white? I guess that's really what you're kind of saying is like, it's it's going to shift an ebb and flow. Right?
Evie Takacs 21:16
Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a great example that, you know, Danny, my husband and I have been implementing, since the seasons have changed here is, we've, you know, wanting to optimize sleep as much as possible that started to slip a little bit. And we do like to watch an episode of whatever show we're into close to bedtime. And, you know, we know, it's not the ideal time, but few nights a week, we would do that. And so Danny made the call, he was like, I think I need to stop that for my own sleep. And so he decided that, you know, as much as I love this time with Evie, and it's fun to like, have the show to watch together, and we can talk about it, I need to sacrifice that form of like togetherness. And I really need to read before bed, because I think that's what I need best right now. And so, you know, in a way, it's like, oh, shoot, like, I missed that. I like that, we get to do that. And I feel like we have less day time together. But at the same time, it's like that and sacrifice that he needs to make. And now I've made and that feels better. Because now we have this new routine of like we sit on and we read together. And so that's nice, too, because we're so doing something together. But that was something that was hard. As silly as that might sound for people who like don't have shows or you know, they're like, Oh, well, I I haven't done that in years. But that was a hard thing. But it's like in that might just be something we do in the winter. Like who's to say like summertime, we're not back to like, hey, let's like we could watch the show. And it'll be we don't know. But that's something that we've been implementing this season. And it's new, and it's different. But again, that together time needed to sacrifice and some of the things that we do in the evening time, like I don't tidy up as much as I used to in the evening time. Like I love going to bed with a clean kitchen and having the dishes out of the sink and all of that stuff. So I can put it away in the morning. Well, in order for me to sit down and read and really relax before bed, I can't do that, because that just kind of gets me up and my brain starts to go. So that means that in the morning, that's when I do that stuff. So I wake up in the morning, and since it's pitch black anyways, I'm spending that time putting my dishes away and tidying up for the day to come. So I've just flipped flopped what I do, even though I don't like having to do it at that time, it's still getting the job done. And it's just it's an easy flop and again, probably won't have to be doing that in four months when it's no longer pitch black at 5pm. But that's what I have to do right now. And I'm making it work.
Toréa Rodriguez 23:26
Yeah. This reminded me of one of the exercises that we asked our clients to do in the deep transformation program, which is really taking a look at how we schedule our time. Yeah, I'm flipping it on its head, right? Because usually what we do when we are managing our diary or schedule, whatever, we look at our commitments, we schedule those in and then we somehow figure out rest and relaxation time at the end of it.
Evie Takacs 23:51
Yeah.
Toréa Rodriguez 23:51
And it doesn't really leave us with a lot of restorative time. And instead if we really start to pay attention to instead of time management, energy management, right? So if we're managing our energy, and we use a different approach, so we clean the slate on the calendar, and we actually schedule in like where's the restorative time? Where's my workout time so I can get that boost of energy, getting that stuff in the calendar first, and then filling in, you know, the responsibilities. after that. It really changes the way that we can approach this kind of situation where modern society is all about just a well just add it in. Oh, yeah. You could be the soccer coach. No problem, right. And I see this in friends and family who literally run themselves ragged because they're going from soccer season to lacrosse season to all of these different seasons. And yes, I know they want to provide their kids with a well rounded, athletic experience. And at the same time, are they just learning to like shove all that stuff have been there too, right? Are we just teaching them to shovel that stuff in there too, right? So it's, it's really a matter of being conscious and intentional about our choices when it comes to those things. And while you were talking about the shows, I was kind of thinking like, oh my god, we live in such a wonderful time right now in terms of the power of choice, right? Because back in the day, and I'm totally gonna date myself, but back in the day, TV shows used to run on a broadcast schedule. So to watch a particular show, you had to be there seven o'clock on Tuesday night, and damn your sleep, right? It's like, if you want to be watching that show, you had to go to their schedule. Now. It's like, you could skip the show all winter long, and you just catch up on it in the summer, because it's all on demand. So I was actually kind of rolling in, like, how awesome is it that we really have so much power of choice. And if we stop just for a moment to be intentional about those things, then yeah, we can figure out how to make this work. I think it's when we don't stop to think about it, then it's like, Oh, I gotta do this, and I gotta do this. And I gotta do this. And I gotta do this. And all of a sudden, we just feel like over whelmed and burnt out and stressed out.
Evie Takacs 26:17
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
Toréa Rodriguez 26:20
So I think we're gonna wrap it up there. But yeah, we really just wanted to let you guys eavesdrop on that conversation. It was something that came up a little bit in the retreat. And it was something that we both kind of had on our minds. So hopefully, that was helpful. If you've got any feedback. Of course, always, you know, you can go to the website, submit a question, send us some feedback, we'd love to see these things. We'd love it. If you share. We'd love it if you tag us like all that stuff. So keep all of that going. And we will see you in the next episode.
Toréa Rodriguez 26:49
Hey, everybody, Toréa here. If you like what you heard today, then I'm inviting you to become a Premium Member over at the Optimized Wellness Community because membership gets you instant and exclusive access to the full length versions of each of these conversations, both in video and audio format. Not only that, but with the community. You also get access to Seminars, Regular Q&As, Activities, our Seasonal Challenges and starting in December. Your first month in the membership, you will get a copy of the Wellness Optimizing Journal, we also have a Luminary-tier membership that gets you access to the live top Breathwork classes, as well as the Visualization library and access to the coaches. Use the link in the show notes. Become a member and join us with the optimized wellness community.
Toréa Rodriguez 27:48
Hey, thanks for joining us for this episode of the Wildly Optimized Wellness podcast. If you’re ready to dig deeper into your health, stop playing the Whack-a-Symptom game, start testing to get better guidance, you can find more about Toréa at torearodriguez.com and you can find Evie at holisticallyrestored.com. Want a peek into what it’s like to work with us? Come join us at our Optimized Wellness Community. You can find the invitation link in the show notes below. And if you have a question for the show, you can submit your question under the podcast section of torearodriguez.com. Finally, if you found something helpful in this episode, don’t forget to leave a review, hit that follow button or share it with a friend. They’re gonna love that you thought of them. Until next time, see you outside!
