Making Habits Stick | S1E4 (E004)
What trips us up the most when it comes to building new habits? Toréa and Evie dive into what those things are that can derail our best efforts when trying to shift routines or establish new habits. Further, in this episode they talk about the techniques they have used successfully themselves and with clients to establish new habits. And moreover, how to make them really stick and become part of your subconscious! In other words, how to make it so easy, you forgot you were doing it!
In This Episode
Starting with just one thing (02:12)
Habit Stacking (04:06)
Why phone reminders don’t work (08:58)
Establishing a clear “why” (09:50)
Gamifying rewards & friendly competition (14:22)
Starting super small & building up (18:50)
Giving yourself the grace to be new at something (22:08)
Toréa Rodriguez 0:08
Welcome to the wildly optimized wellness podcast. I am your host, Toréa Rodriguez. And I'm joined by the lovely co host, Evie Takacs. Both of us our Functional Diagnostic Nutrition practitioners and we love working with women from all over the world, through our virtual programs, helping women not only feel better, but actually achieve that vibrant, no holds barred version of themselves, they've been missing for a long time, and how we actually get there. Well, that is what this show is all about. Now, please keep in mind that this podcast is created for educational purposes only and should never be used as a replacement for medical diagnosis or treatment. And if you like what you hear today, we would love for you to hit that follow button, leave a review in Apple podcast, share with your friends, and keep coming back for more. Let's start today's adventure, shall we?
Okay, welcome back. So we're back for another episode. And Evie and I wanted to do a deep dive on making habit stick, we kind of mentioned it briefly a little bit in one of the previous episodes. And this is an area where when we're working with clients, we see a lot of like motivation in the beginning, and they're all fired up. And they're gonna do all these different things, right. And then all of a sudden, like, it's like the deer in headlights look of like, oh my God, there's so much going on, I don't know what to do. And then, you know, the habits tend to not stick that well. So whether you're new to habits, or habits or an old hat, or you're still experimenting with yourself, or you're trying to optimize things or, you know, start something new, this is an area that I think gets people really, really stuck. So, Evie, what have you seen in terms of making habits stick? Like, is this one of the areas that really does trip people up whether or not they're new or old hat this whole thing?
Evie Takacs 2:12
I think so I've seen clients, we've talked about this in other episodes, but I think when they make these goals are they want to change into these different habits that are a little too big at the moment, or they're trying to change for different things and uproot their entire routine their entire life that can be really overwhelming. So when they're taking on too much at one time, that's where I see clients struggle on hit that resistance of, you know, why is this? Why is this really difficult? Or I'm feeling overwhelmed? Or why can't I get this? So it almost feels like again, there's too much on their plate that they're trying to do at once, versus taking that 30,000 foot view and saying, Okay, if I give myself a year, then what habit can I you know, what habit can I commit to for the next four months? And then I'm going to get the other habit the other four months or you know, whatever in that way. So that's typically what I see. Right? And have experienced personally too.
Toréa Rodriguez 3:06
Yes, we both have lots of experience in this area of like, Hmm, that didn't work. So what do I need to change in order for me to be able to pick up this new habit or the new thing that I'm trying to incorporate? And I think I see this a lot with other practitioners in this space. And you probably do, too. I've gotten a lot of clients come to me saying, Hey, I worked with this practitioner, and all of a sudden they wanted me to change, totally overhaul my eating totally overhauled my shopping schedule, like stuff that I'm shopping for, start the supplement protocol, like all of these things. And that I think in itself is also overwhelming, right? So really breaking that down into what do you want to focus on first, but you know, the picking of the one thing I think is paramount, like let's make it super simple. So you can pick the one thing, get that established, get a couple weeks under your belt if you can, right, and then add in the new thing. And so I see that a lot with other practitioners where they're trying to cram a lot of stuff into a short time window, because of course, we all want our clients to have results. We all want them to feel better as quickly as possible. And so it's easy to think of, oh, if we just overhauled the whole kit and caboodle, it's gonna be great. And that's just not how humans work. Right? So picking that single thing, I think is usually the place to start. One of the other psychological pieces that I've noticed that works really well is this concept of habit stacking. This is something that's been around for a long period of time, but habit stacking, for example, is when you start a new habit, you want to layer it on top of a habit that you already do. That's mostly subconscious and the most famous example is brushing our teeth, because we almost always get up and brush teeth in the morning. And if you can start that new habit, or have the act of brushing your teeth be the trigger for the new habit. So you know, for the example of, maybe you want to write in a gratitude journal, and so you would literally place your toothbrush on top of the journal, right so that when you're done, you would remind yourself to pick up the journal, right? Things like that, what have you used habit stacking wise in terms of being able to layer on your own habits me?
Evie Takacs 5:31
Well, I picked up habit stacking from you. So I ever since you introduced this concept to me, which I guess to a degree I was probably already doing but not conscious of that's what it was called, or that was the thought process behind. But you know, one of the habits that we've talked about that is are pretty set in stone for both of us is a morning walk or morning light. So the thing that I wanted to do on top of that was start red light therapy. And I was having a hard time remembering or picking a time because as sad as it sounds, I'm sure other people can relate to this. I was like, I can't commit 10 to 15 minutes to sit in front of a red light, I have too many things to do, right. But I also knew the importance of red light. And I really wanted to give it a try to see what I would notice from that. So I decided to make that part of my morning routine. So it's almost like because of the location and where it is in my home, I get up and I do my you know oral hygiene to do my hygiene in the morning. And then as I'm getting dressed, because now that it's winter, I'm changing into warmer clothes from what I sleep in. So I thought that if I'm already going to be changing, then I can go ahead and add in the red light. And so that's something that I've been stacking on top of my already established habit, which is changing into clothes and getting out for a walk. So that's been my example of habit stacking. And it doesn't have to be something like that. It could also be, for example, using the toothbrush example, I really wanted to get into toe scraping, because I was really curious about that. And I thought oh, that could be really cool. Something to add in. I'm already brushing my teeth. I'm already flossing, we're doing rinse. And so I then placed my tongue scraper right next to my toothbrush. So now I never forget to do it because it's visible to me. And I'm already doing something for my oral hygiene. So it's a lot easier to build that into an already existing habit.
Toréa Rodriguez 7:16
Exactly. And talking about teeth brushing, right, that's a it's a classic example for habit stacking. And it doesn't even have to be related to oral health. Right? My movement trainer really wanted me to do more squats throughout the day. Right. So I was telling you before we started recording, but one of the ways that I have it stacked squats is that I took everything on my bathroom counter off the counter and put it underneath the sink. So now I have to go down below to get things. So every time I go to get my toothbrush, I do a squat. And every time I go to get my hairbrush, I do a squat. And every time I go to get my mascara, I do a squat. And so keeping things put away down there a it's nice because there's less stuff on my counter now. But be that allowed me to do those squats while I'm doing my morning routine. And then I also do like foot mobility exercises. While I'm you know, brushing my teeth and the corners and doing all of that stuff and getting all the quadrants, that's been a way that I've been able to get more functional movement in throughout the day, is to really think about, okay, just like what you did with the red light, you thought about, okay, I want to do red light with more skin exposed, what are those times during the day that I have more skin exposed? Oh, it's when I'm changing clothes from activity to activity. That's a really great time for inserting those kinds of things. So thinking about that in terms of movement, you know, can you fold your laundry on the floor instead of on top of a counter or whatever those kinds of things are that you're trying to habit stack in. But the idea is, is that you're giving yourself a trigger that is already subconscious, right. So if we're trying to establish a new trigger, I've tried reminders on my phone. And while that works, maybe for the first like three reminders, after a while because the phone notifications are so much I become deaf to it. Yes. So that's not a good trigger for me, right?
Evie Takacs 9:18
I've experienced that too. It's, I've started that. It just gets drowned out because I'm like another notification. Okay, I got it. And then I'm already usually in the middle of something else. So just kind of forget. So, again, that can work for a lot of people. But I think most of us in today's age are already getting so many notifications or already have a lot of things that are triggered by our calendar that it's not so much going to be as effective as it would have maybe 5-10 years ago. Exactly. Another thing that for me personally that I think has been difficult with like having my habits stick is I sometimes don't get very clear on why I want to be doing this in the first place. And so I just think like oh, that sounds good, or Oh, I heard I've been on a podcast, so maybe I should be doing that. And if I don't have a strong why, then I'm most likely not going to be as invested as I need to be in order to make this stick. Yeah, agreed. So I think you know, when we talked about people like that it can be overwhelming. I think another thing for me personally, as we're talking about this is I don't feel like if I don't have a strong wire, a strong connection to an emotional or like a motivation for what I can see happening, if I can stick to this habit, I'm less likely to stick with it. So I have to be very clear on like, if I do this, if I do the red light, then I'm hoping to see this result. And I believe in that result happening, which means I'm going to be disciplined, do this day in and day out. So I think that could be another reason why it's really hard to make these things stick.
Toréa Rodriguez 10:40
Absolutely. And you're getting into kind of the the psychology and the language around some of these habits, right is that if we don't really understand what that outcome is going to be, right? That why and if we can't emotionally attached to that, chances are, we're not going to do it very long. You know, it's like we're acting on willpower alone. And willpower is a limited resource. So I want something that's going to be an unlimited resource. So really getting clear on that, why or really getting clear on the outcome. And from a language perspective, it makes a huge difference for that outcome to be focusing on what it is you do want, as opposed to what you don't want. So for example, you know, if you're working on your health, and maybe it's hydration, so that you don't get migraines anymore, you're not going to drink a bunch of water, because you're thinking, Oh, I don't want migraines, right, that's not going to be motivating. But if you think about the outcome of being able to go throughout your day, completely pain free able to think clearly, and be able to stay up on conversations and actually have energy and not be debilitated by pain, that's going to be a lot more motivating than thinking about the migraines all the time. Right. So there's a lot of that like getting really, really clear on what that looks like and how you're gonna feel when you have that outcome. And that kind of brings me to one of my next points on trying to make habit stick is really paying attention to the emotion that you want to feel while doing the habit. Right? Because if you're going to the gym and you're going to go do deadlifts or something and you're like, Oh, God, I hate deadlifts. This is just the worst. Yeah, you're not gonna do them? No, right. But if you think about, Wow, I love how my body feels. The moment I am done doing deadlifts and focus on that, that's going to bring out a whole different source of motivation for you.
Evie Takacs 12:41
Did you know that that was my situation earlier? was no I knew I had to go to you know, I was going to go to the gym, I had it planned. And you know deadlifts were actually things that I was going
Toréa Rodriguez 12:50
to do today, I know you do them, which is why I picked it.
Evie Takacs 12:53
Yeah, I had this moment where I really didn't feel like going because I didn't later I went to the gym later than I typically do. And so by that point, steam was kind of running out. And I was like, I don't know, I don't have as much time as I typically do. And I'm gonna be rushing, and maybe I'll just skip, but then I thought, wait a second, you feel so good after you work out. And you know, this is really important, you know, this is important for your health, for your mind, emotional health, all of that. And so that's what I focused in on. So even though I didn't want to be warming up, you know, I was kind of drudging through the warm up, I didn't want to go load the bar, I didn't want to do this, I just kept thinking like, this is really, really good for me. And I'm going to feel so much better when this is over. And I'm gonna be really proud of myself. And so that was the emotion that I was chasing is feeling proud of myself. And that's what got me through.
Toréa Rodriguez 13:40
And how did you feel when you were done?
Evie Takacs 13:43
Proud of myself and energized and focused, and just so happy that I did it? Because it's like that saying do something your future self will thank you for Yes, I knew that, you know, I was going to be really, really satisfied. And I'm doing this for my health. And this is a long term game and strength training as part of that for me. So that's why I did it. And it didn't suck. It wasn't bad. You know, I made it, I made it out to be worse. In my mind. It was actually really good, enjoyable time. So yeah, again, it's, I was focusing on that. So it's funny, you mentioned that because that's exactly what I just went through today of like, what's the end game here. And that's the reason why I'm going to do the thing that I don't really want to be doing right now.
Toréa Rodriguez 14:22
Which is awesome, because there's a lot of things that we're doing for our health and making changes, right? That we can tap into that immediate reward or that immediate feedback kind of thing. Let's talk a little bit about those things that we do for health that we don't get that immediate feedback. So the the example that I'm thinking of is we both just finished working with a client who had a hard time doing her supplements schedule she had planned out. She knew exactly when she needed to do it, but the actual act of taking the supplements was difficult. And it wasn't until I asked her How could you make this fun? Right? And so all of a sudden, the creativity lights switched on? And you can see, it's like, Oh, what if we gamified it? What if I gave myself some points, every single time I took my supplements, right. And this was an elaborate system for her. But it worked. Right? It worked 100%. So she created this, you know, spreadsheet where she would keep track of, and this is why habit trackers are really important. Because you can see your progress, but also because you can gamify and reward yourself. So if you're not, like, I don't get satisfaction from swallowing a bunch of capsules. Like, that doesn't make me feel immediately good, right? So how else can we reward ourselves, so she came up with a point system. And every time she would take her supplements on time, she would award herself three points. And then for, I think she would cash it in like every 30 points, or 300 points or something, she was gonna let herself do something that she really looked forward to, like, sign up for an art class or, you know, do something fun in that way. And I find gamifying and using gold stars and collecting checkboxes and points and that kind of thing that really motivates me to do stuff that I'm not necessarily noticing that kind of immediate impact.
Evie Takacs 16:20
Yeah, if that works, that works. And I think a lot of people actually do better with that, but they don't think about it. So hopefully hearing it is like, Oh, maybe I should try that for the habit that I'm trying to establish.
Toréa Rodriguez 16:29
Exactly. I mean, it's, it's the same kind of, I guess, logic, if you will, if you were to get into a competition with friends, this is why having a community when we're trying to make changes is so important. Because you can have people keep you accountable, or you can do you know, leaderboards, or whatever that happens to be and maybe even get a little competitive with it of like, Oh, Monica only did 7000 steps this today, I'm going to beat her I'm doing 8500, right, or whatever that happens to be. I hope my friend didn't just get upset that I called her out on the podcast, but whatever, you know, so it's, it's those kinds of things that you can use competition and, and gamifying that can also make these transitions into habits going from conscious. I want to do this to subconscious a lot more easily. Would you agree?
Evie Takacs 17:25
Absolutely. Yeah, there's that healthy competition, like I played sports my entire life, you know, up until college, and then I found competition and other ways. But yeah, that healthy competition is definitely something that I think a lot of people are motivated by. And they use that to drive that discipline to get the job done, and get that habit done. And that task done. So absolutely. I think there's this unspoken thing with my friend, I'm gonna pick on my friend now, you know, she really got into walking after meals, because I was telling her how beneficial it can be for multiple reasons, right? blood sugar regulation, helping metabolism. So every time she eats, she goes on a walk. And so when I am finished eating, I try and go on a walk too. And so we'll like call each other like, Hey, are you walking? Oh, cool. Can you too? How long are you walking for? It's just like this thing of, like, we're hope we're keeping each other accountable. But we're also supporting each other. And just honestly, just want the best for each other in that way. Yeah, but yeah, it's definitely something we're like, well shoot, if she's, I didn't walk after she's walking. So she, I'm gonna get on the treadmill. So it's nice. And that way that we can do that. And I think it's a, again, a healthy competition to keep us accountable. Because I don't think we can always do it alone. I think we need that outside motivation, that external competition. It's really hard to be disciplined on your own for every little thing in life. Yes. And so I think having that external pressure, it can be really helpful.
Toréa Rodriguez 18:50
Yeah, agreed. There's a lot that we can do on our own. And we're amazing when we set our minds to things and are committed to ourselves and committed to having that kind of willpower. But at the same time, it's a lot more fun if you involve your friends. And I love that, you know, there are apps dedicated to this, like Strava, for example, is an app that you can compete with your friends and runs and bike rides and that kind of thing. And you can think they even give out little like badges or whatever it happens to be. And that's fine. You could do it in an app. But you can also do it as simply, as you just mentioned, is just like, call when you're doing the habit of like, Hey, what's going on? Oh, you're out for a walk. That's fantastic. Need to you know, and you can do it that way as well. Yeah. Yeah, super cool. Definitely. Yeah. The other piece, I think the last little piece that I wanted to also talk about with making sure that habit stick is so we talked about biting off too much in the beginning of like doing too many things. So, you know, say your goal is to shift metabolism. So you're going to do a hydration goal and a step goal and maybe a fasting goal or something like that, that sounds great. And while all three of those things help with metabolism, right, we already talked about, well just pick one, like hydration, for example. But then taking it even a step further, so you've dialed it down to one. Now let's dial it down into something that is easily accomplishable. So even if the first week, you're like, I'm just gonna tell myself, I'm gonna drink one cup of water a week, you know that you've got that in the bag. But at least you are proving to yourself and rewarding yourself just the same way you would if you're trying to get 12 cups in a day or 11 cups in a day, right? You want to build that momentum and then ramp it up slowly. Right? It's kind of the five key approach to the marathon. Right? You can't go from couch to Yeah, yeah. Marathon. Are, ya know what I'm talking about? Yeah.
Evie Takacs 21:01
Isn't there a program like, kind of you know, but isn't there something called like, couch to 5k? Or something like that? Yeah. I've heard of that before? Yeah.
Toréa Rodriguez 21:10
I think so. I think that's why I was stumbling. I was like, I think there is a couch to 5k program, and they're not talking about running the 5k on your first day. Right?
Evie Takacs 21:20
I definitely agree with that. Again, because if you know that, okay, one cup, that's obviously doable. But I think what we need to remember is that you need to build the confidence that you can do this. And how do you vote confidence by showing up every day and doing it doesn't mean that you're going to be 100% successful? You're going to be perfect at it. Yep. But showing up every day builds that confidence. And with that confidence, then you can be like, Okay, well, I did it yesterday. Okay, I got one cup, you know, I'm gonna go for three today. You go for three, you get it perfect. I feel really confident. Okay, I'm gonna do six today, you get six, it's, that's how you build confidence is showing up every day and doing it, even if it's not perfect. And so I think that's really, really key with the habits is you have to remember, it's okay, if it's not perfect right away, because it probably won't be to be very honest at first. And that's okay.
Toréa Rodriguez 22:08
No, it, it probably won't, right, that's like the grace of being new at something and giving yourself that space to trip a little bit. But I used to get really sucked into the concept of Go big or go home. Like, you got to be all in or not in at all. And while that sounds good, from a like motivational poster standpoint, it's not really practical. When you set out to do something, cycling, for example, it's like, alright, I'm gonna do 35 miles. And then the first day that I can't do 35 miles, it's like, I should just yeah, go home, you know, and give up. And so I think we want to be really careful about that. Make sure that we're consistently achieving that goal, even if we have to bring that expectation bar down a little bit. And when you can do that for seven days of a stretch, or five days at a stretch, great, move it up a little bit. But don't move it up all the way to your end goal. Because if you go too fast, you're gonna end up seeing failure too much. And then of course, that's demotivating. Right? So I don't like that, that slogan anymore. Go big or go home? Yeah, I don't either. We're gonna come up with a better motivational poster.
Evie Takacs 23:24
I know, I know. It's, yeah, that's outdated. That's, we're not doing that anymore.
Toréa Rodriguez 23:29
It is. We're not doing it anymore. And yeah, so really, I think the key takeaways here today are, you know, keeping things super simple. Thinking about what it is that is going to motivate you in terms of that, why? Or what is the outcome? And how are you going to feel, and really chasing after those emotions that you're looking for. And then having fun with it, right? Having a little friendly competition or making a game out of it. Anything you need to do to like, make it be enjoyable is going to be the recipe to success. Absolutely.
Evie Takacs 24:05
Absolutely.
Toréa Rodriguez 24:06
Any final words on this?
Evie Takacs 24:09
No, I'm curious to hear from people listening and or watching, you know, what's your experience with this? Have you done habit stacking, or what have you found helps you with your habits, because we're always learning as coaches too. And it's just nice to hear like what it is that some people have experimented with for themselves. So I'd be curious what other people are going through and what they found works for them. And if that's something that I could even apply to myself, exactly the habits that I have, in my mind that I want to be working on in this year. Yeah,
Toréa Rodriguez 24:39
I'm all about the gamification and making it fun. So if somebody has come up with another system, that's like really cool. I want to try it. So share that with us too. Because, you know, part of this whole thing is always we're always kind of in this optimization, right? Our bodies change over time. And we're going to be looking at pushing ourselves further and further for the The time in our life that we are in in the moment. And anytime we can get tips and tricks from other people that are finding things that work like please share them. That's how we all get better together.
Evie Takacs 25:11
Yes, absolutely.
Toréa Rodriguez 25:13
Okay, you guys, we'll see you in the next episode.
Evie Takacs 25:16
See ya have a great week.
Toréa Rodriguez 25:22
Hey, thanks for joining us for this episode of the Wildly Optimize Wellness podcast. If you're ready to dig deeper into your health, stop playing the whack-a-symptom game, start testing to get better guidance, you can find more about Toréa at torearodriguez.com, and you can find Evie at holisticallyrestored.com. Want a peek into what it's like to work with us? Come join us at our Optimized Wellness Community. You can find the invitation link in the show notes below. And if you have a question for the show, you can submit your question under the podcast section of torearodriguez.com. Finally, if you found something helpful in this episode, don't forget to leave a review, hit that follow button or share it with a friend. They're gonna love that you thought of them. Until next time, see you outside!
